LIBERALS CLAIM JESUS ENDORSEMENT

My neighbor just sent me the linked article. He is a diehard Kerry Kool-aid drinker and I love him like a brother. I promise I'm not making this up (well, maybe the satirical parts.)

Encouraged by the recent endorsements of the ABB (Anybody But Bush) campaign by Old Europe, China, North Korea, and the Palestinian Authority, the extreme wing of the Democrat party has just declared solidarity with Jesus Christ, the dead progressive revolutionary, not to be confused with the other dead progressive revolutionary, Che Guevara.

In a CommonDream NewsCenter article by noted theologian Gary Vance (who?) from Loretto, TN, (where?) it is painstakenly revealed that only liberals are true Christians, and that conservatives are not only greedy losers, but they are totally un-Jesus and should be ashamed of themselves and grovel on their bellies on a gravel road until they agree with Edwards that they have lost their minds and finally admit Bush stole the 2000 election by not allowing law-abiding felons in Florida to vote early and often. They should also admit that Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Powell/Rice physically forced noted conservative Democrats Charlie Rangel and Fritz Hollings to sponsor bills in Congress to reinstate the national draft to scare the bejesus out of the nation's college slackers.

Vance's heavily researched and annotated paper (oops, Gary must have forgotten the footnotes) presents the real Jesus, a peace loving hippy who would have volunteered to single-handedly clean the portable potties at Woodstock. Not at all like the hobnail-booted, war-mongering bigot those disgusting Republicans like to make him out to be. Finally we have the definitive work on the life and times of Jesus. He was a lot like Gandhi, only Jewish (shhhh, don't let Arafat and the mullahs know Jesus was a Jew. They may pull their Kerry endorsements.)

Please accept my apology if the above post offended you. It was not my intention. My intention was to satirically expose the hypocricy of the article and the lameness of the author's arguments. Vance reconstructed Jesus through the lens of his liberal worldview. In reality, Jesus was the perfect sinless man and the holy righteous God, all in one. If is folly to button hole Him into one camp or the other. He was sinless. Guess what? Neither liberals nor conservatives share that trait. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Jesus was perfectly balanced between the extremes of today's conservatism and liberalism. He occupied what I like to call the "radical middle". To twist our Lord's life and works to fit a politicial agenda is shameful and bordering on heresy.